“Everyone here is dressed in bikinis!” – This was my first reaction when I just arrived to a warm paradise island in Thailand called Koh Phi Phi. I just landed from a colder climate and the middle of the winter in Netherlands where an idea of seeing a semi-naked people on a street was preposterous, and now they were everywhere.
Few days later, however, I completely forgot about this obsession, which made me wonder what the whole fuss was all about.
What All The Fuss Is About Being Naked
Similarly, as in case of bikinis, occasionally I know myself to be obsessed about idea of seeing naked human body. Finally, when I see it, I immediately understand that I was over exaggerating and there is nothing to get obsessed about. In the beginning, I may be very interested in what was beneath the cloth, but soon after seeing whats up, this energy is also gone.
In fact, if you ever been to a naked beach you know what I am talking about. Most people think of these places as something flashy and inappropriate, but after spending some time there they start to think it is the most natural thing.
Sexualization of Our Cloth
Interestingly enough, sometimes we may like a person dressed more than we like them undressed. Indeed, have you ever been in a situation where you seen a naked or semi-naked person and though: “I hope this person would put some cloth back on?”
This is not surprising since there is a whole industry around making cloth look sexy. It promotes all sorts of different cloth and accessories as essential for our good looks. They achieve it by systematically pairing attractive looking people with their products, which is why we often like people in cloth more than we like the real deal.
But, as you may have thought, marketers pair all sorts of products with attractive people, such as toothpaste products, cars, water bottles, and so on and so forth. This in turn creates an impossibly complex system of dating whereas it is no longer about two people liking each other, and rather about what material possession each of them got.
History Of Obsession With Naked
Historically speaking, whats normal, appropriate, and attractive has changed over the centuries. In fact:
1) Female breasts once not even considered to be an erogenous area of our bodies and instead showing off legs was considered inappropriate.
2) In some African tribes today we can still see some naked or semi-naked people walking around and it is completely the most natural thing
3) And than there are people who started to overdress
Naked in Religion and Islamic Hijab
In some cultures, such as among Islamic religion followers, the obsession over the naked took completely different turn, whereas women were obliged to cover themselves from head to tows with cloth. Indeed, I read that it is not even mentioned that women should hijab, but in some places they have to. This fact is only enhanced by historic constrains whereas few hundred years ago it would be simply impossible to have all these complex cloths. This is because some people could not even afford to buy good cloth, it was inefficient, or our technology of mass production simply did not exist that far back, meaning that there was simply no Hijab you could wear say in a swimming pools. And now it is a must? I mean, why are not men obliged to wear this closing?
Still, religiously speaking, in other religions including Catholic, men and women were incentivized to cover themselves. They did it as a form of ritual that helped them to identify with their religion and hence improve their practice. It also helped them to forgo the whole distraction with sex, as additional cloth often removed additional provocations. As such, people were even incentivized to take that celibacy vow, as to block any irrational feeling and replace them with some guided thought.
“Cat and Mouse” Game That Made Us Obsessed
What happens next, is that people start to think that if people are hiding something it is worth seeing, creating a “cat and mouse” chasing game. It makes us obsessed and is responsible for many of our frustrations, specially when we can’t get what we want when we want it. And the fact that we are constantly reminded of the fact by marketers does not help, which makes us even more frustrated, ashamed, and obsessed.
And for people who don’t think it is a case I always like to ask this question: What do animals and insects do when food and immediate survival stop being their immediate goals? For me, they start to pursuit the next biological imperative, which is a desire for reproduction. And same is true for human being, except that our mating dance routine has become so complex that we sometimes can’t even connect it anymore to our desire for reproduction. We are just so confused. We buy at expensive car and pursuit a next level of our career and we think it is because we want to have more luxuries life. But more luxuries life should usually bring us access to more and better mates. And if we think otherwise, we should get our facts in check.
This Is Still Within A Norm
I once heard that different people have different needs in terms of how often they will want to be with a consenting partner. For one person it can be every other hour, while for other it can be every other month. Both extremes are still within a healthy norm of desires.
Of course, when one partner wants more physical closeness than the other this can lead to some conflict with a relationship, as one partner might think that the other person is not interested in them. Hence, a clear communication may be required.
Of course, your counterpart may not even know exactly how often you want to be together with them, as much as you may not know your own rhythm. Therefore, a careful observation may be required on both parts.
There Is A Great Range Of Behavior We Can Consider “Normal”
Finally, there is a great deal of cultural difference between these people. On one side, there are these who think that sleeping together with other people on regular basis, and perhaps even multiple partners, is the most natural thing. On other side, we will see cultures where even looking at someone before marriage is forbidden.
The bottom line is that all these cultures work, to a certain extend, meaning that there is a great range of behavior we can consider as “normal”. Thus, we can conclude that in principle we should be free to chose how much liberal or conservative we want to be in respect to this naked obsession and not judge others in regards to this topic. Still, we should also not forget that there is a great deal of influence regarding we are facing every day, meaning that quite often our own views can be wrong regarding a great of similar topics. Is that hard to imagine?
Liked This Article?
Personally, I like the topic of interpersonal relationship and what is “normal” or “crazy” behaviors we can discover if we look a bit more closer into this topic. Therefore, I dedicated the whole Chapter 5 of my book “How To Act Normal” to the discussion about how to manage our relationships if acting normal is our final goal. Thus, if you liked this post I strongly recommend you reading this chapter, or any similar posts on my blog, which you can find in recommended section bellow this post.